


We walk as tall as the skyline (And we have roots like the trees)

by KeepGoing



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universes, Angst, Character Death, Depression, Flashbacks, Flashforwards, Grief, Happy Ending, Happy times, Loss, M/M, Magic, Portals, Sexy Times, a world with no magic, alecs first time, confident!Alec, it all works out, jace and izzy are team malec, magnus loses control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-18 20:07:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7329001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeepGoing/pseuds/KeepGoing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When tragedy strikes, Magnus goes against every moral he has as a Warlock and also as an ally to the shadowhunters and downworlders. He threatens to rip apart the fabric that holds all the worlds and realms together just to keep a promise to Alec. But even when he succeeds Magnus finds that what he expected and hoped to find is nothing like the reality of his choices. The Alec of the world he finds himself in (a world where magic doesn’t exist and there are no such things as shadowhunters and demons) is a New York Police Officer and with the same secrets and fears as the Alec of his own world, but with way more to lose. Now Magnus must decide whether to risk it all again just to return to the world he knows without Alec, or continue to live a mortal life in this new world without him as well. </p><p>Told through flashbacks as Magnus and Alec fall in love and present day as Magnus searches for a way for him and Alec to be together again you’ll find that destiny always comes full circle especially when it comes to Magnus Bane and Alexander Lightwood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We walk as tall as the skyline (And we have roots like the trees)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Shadowhunters Big Bang](http://shadowhunters-big-bang.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr
> 
> Art by [thisissirius](http://thisissirius.tumblr.com/) on tumblr (ITS AMAZING. CHECK OUT ALL HER WORK. GO NOW)
> 
> Beta'd by [Ladymidnight](http://ladymidnight5287.tumblr.com/) on tumblr-Who without her I never would have been able to get this right.
> 
> Soundtrack for this fic can be found [here](https://8tracks.com/keepgoingsamcro/we-walk-as-tall-as-the-skyline-and-we-have-roots-like-the-trees) on 8tracks

[](http://photobucket.com/)

** __**

**

“I know there may be universes out there where I made different choices and they led me somewhere else, led me to someone else. And my heart breaks for every single version of me that didn't end up with you.”  
\--Taylor Jenkins Reid

**

****

** THEN **

His hair is still wet from the shower and droplets of water are sliding down my bare arm as he finishes a text message to Jace. I watch his long calloused fingers press the small keys on his out of date flip phone and I smirk at the memory of our most recent argument about it when he refused to let me get him a ‘real phone.’ He is so set in his ways. So independent. Stubborn. 

But he’s mine. 

He sighs, setting the phone down on the plush comforter and turns his head up to look at me, smearing even more wetness on my shoulder. He gives me a lopsided smile. 

“What are you reading?”

I turn my head, my chin catching a piece of his freshly washed hair. “Ann Rice. It's hilarious. Her take on vampires sends me into a fit of giggles.”

He himself giggles and nuzzles deeper into my shoulder. He intertwines are hands together and suddenly he is fascinated with my newly manicured painted nails. He runs his thumb over the smooth polish and I know there has been something on his mind all night.

“What is it, darling?” 

He shrugs a little and continues to worship my hands. I reach out with non-occupied one and lift his chin so I can see his deep brown eyes better. A red hue washes over his cheeks and every day I find him more and more beautiful. 

“In other...dimensions...there are alternate versions of ourselves, right?”

I nod. “Clary and Jace have seen them, yes.”

He licks his lower lip. “Do you think...there...we are together too?”

I smile at him because as brave and stone like Alec Lightwood likes to come across, I know the soft and deep heart he has inside himself. A heart only a few have gotten to glorious luxury to see inside. 

“Maybe. Fate is a tricky thing, but I believe it if you believe it.”

He looks at me, his eyes saying much but still hiding most. “Yeah.”

“Alexander.” It’s a question. It always is when I say his name like this. And he knows it. He knows us now. “Is this about the immortality thing again?”

He averts his eyes from me and rolls his head across the pillow. “It’s just a question, Magnus.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. C’mere.” I pull him against me and he buries his face into my chest. I thread his wet strands through my fingers as he listens to my heartbeat. It's his comfort place. He does this sometimes after a more violent battle or when he’s just feeling...a tad bit more clingy than usual. I don’t mind. In fact, I welcome it. The fleeting moments when his walls are done and he lets me take care of him. 

“I’ll tell you what,” I whisper to him. He hums against my skin and I feel the familiar rise of excitement on my skin. “No matter what dimension I fall into, I will always find you, Alexander Lightwood.”

“What about...in death?”

“You plan on dying on me?”

He glares at me. “Can you be serious. For once?”

“Okay. Okay. You’re right.” I kiss his forehead. “I believe if two people are meant to be together they will always find each other. No matter when or where.” I feel my chest tighten. “And I will always find you, Alexander Lightwood.”

I feel him smile against my chest. “Promise?”

“I promise, my darling.”

** NOW **

“No, no, no, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I’m running; whatever magic left in my body is sending out sparks out of my hands, but I know it's too late. I can already feel the world get darker under my feet. I can feel my chest turn to stone as he collapses to the ground before I can catch him. Purple sparks and fire erupt from my fingertips and the demon who had just sliced his claws all the way up Alec’s torso explodes; his own torso blasts every which way. But it doesn't matter. I’m too late. 

I skid to a stop next to his limp body and begin to chant a prayer of’ no’s’ and ‘please God’ and his name like a new found religion that I swear I would devote my entire existence to if it would just make this better. 

But the light behind his eyes is almost completely faded and I cradle his head in my lap as I try to pull whatever magic I have left out of me to push into him. But I know, even if I was up to my full potential, there was nothing I could do. Not for this. 

He chokes a little, blood pooling at the corners of his mouth and I push the palms of my hands deeper into his wounds. 

“Magnus...” He gurgles his hand reaching for mine. I take it and he grabs it with whatever strength he has left. “F-find…”

“Alexander, please my love. Don’t speak. Just…” I close my eyes unable to say the words. I lean down to press a kiss to his forehead as I hear his last words. 

“F-find me in...a-another life.”

** THEN **

**  
**

“Are you sure it's not going to be a problem that we are here? The last thing I want to do it disrupt the accords.”

I smile at him as he creases his brow with worry. 

“Alec, my dear, not to worry. The Fairy Realm is safe for us. We have an...understanding. I’m allowed to enter. To look. But time is limited. Remember don’t eat or drink anything.” I squeeze his hand as I push through a bush with the most beautiful of purple flowers. He reaches to touch one and I grab his wrist gently. “Let’s wait. You need to be careful.”

“If it's so dangerous, why are we even here?” He mumbles. I smirk as we make it past the high bush and out into an open field. He literally gasps at the site. 

The rays of sunbeams cut through the air scattering glitter and colorful feathers throughout it. The flowers lined up in designs I’m sure mean something far more important to the Fay line the grass in the most intricate of patterns. Tulips, Roses, Carnations; flowers that normally would not grow together, all blooming side by side in harmony. There was a soft melody floating through the field; and it keeps a rhythm with our heartbeats, that have over time, synced themselves. 

Alec is not one for beauty. He lived his life in black and white before he met me. I’d like to think I’ve brought some color to his world and the reason for this trip into a land I know he hasn't seen too much of, was just that. To see that look of wonder on his face. His guard down and his mind and eyes open to the beauty that is hidden in plain sight to mundanes. But he’s not a mundane. This boy I have fallen in love with is part angel and every day I see it more and more. 

“Magnus…” He raises his face up to the sunlight, glitter falling down upon his cheeks. He smiles and I feel my knees weaken and my heart skip. What this boy does to me. 

“Do you like it? I know it's much and you’re not into extravagant things but…”

“No. No, Magnus. This is...I’ve never seen anything like it. Thank you.”

“I just wanted you to experience it.” I wrap my arm around his waist and watch him as he takes in his surroundings. His eyes are so wide, his mouth hanging open as he finds more and more things little things. When he finally looks at me, eyes shining with innocence, I decide now is the time. I’m not frightened anymore. I’m not nervous. I’m open and free. Because of him. 

“I love you, Alexander.”

** NOW **

I hear her heels on the hardwood floor and I just bury my face deeper into my pillow and pull the plush comforter that I refuse to wash because it smells like him. It's been over a month. The scent of him; of what we were, is almost gone but if I bury my nose in just the right spot I can still smell of my shampoo on his hair. 

My door creaks open and I hear her soft breathing and I know if I lift my head to even acknowledge her I will cry again because she has his eyes and...I just can't. 

“Magnus…” She sounds so sad. I feel guilty. She lost her brother. Her rock. Her partner on this path we call life. But she’s right side up. She’s awake. She’s out of bed. She’s moving on. And here I am, in the same pajamas I’ve been in for weeks now, un-showered, my loft a mess...and clinging to the last memories I have of him in my bed. 

“Please, Magnus. Just look at me.”

I sigh heavily and poke one un-makeuped eye out from beneath the comforter. 

She gives me the tiniest of smiles. “There you are.”

I huff and close my eyes again. It's too bright. Which is strange because he’s not here anymore and he was always my light. 

“When was the last time you left here?” Her voice, the way it upswings on certain syllables, almost sounds like his. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe I’m just searching. Looking for excuses to feel even worse than I already do. Doesn't matter. 

“I don't need to leave here, Isabelle. I have everything I need right here. And if I don't, I can make it.” I try to bury myself as deep as I can in the bed. Where the memory of him is the strongest. Where for brief fleeting moments, it doesn't ache quite as badly. 

It barely works. I’m barely here. 

“Why don't you come to the institute. See everyone. Clary and Jace-”

“I don't want nor do I need to see anyone. I’m fine right here.”

She sighs and her breathing cracks. “We miss him too, Magnus. I miss him. You aren't the only one hurting. I get your relationship with him was deep...that you cared for him-”

I sit up abruptly and she gasps at the sight of me. “Cared for him? Is that what you all are calling it? Like it was some momentary thing? I loved him. And he loved me. And perhaps that is something you and your institute can’t seem to wrap their stifled brains around-”

“That isn't fair!” She yells. “You know I don't feel that way. I know what you meant to Alec. More than you probably do. He did love you. Besides us, you were everything to him. But I also know he wouldn't want you to go on like this. This was his biggest fear, Magnus. That one day he would be gone and you would close yourself off to everything and everyone. He didn't want that for you. We don't want that for you.” She’s shaking.

And she’s right. 

My immortality was always the elephant in the room when it came to Alec and I. Something just below the surface of our love ready to explode at any minute. And it did. 

He’s gone and I’m still here. Without him. Forever. 

“I just miss him so much,” I whisper. 

She’s on me immediately, her arms around me, petting the back of my head while I cry for the first time since he took his last breath in my arms. She falls asleep next to me, where Alec used to lay, and I stare at the ceiling as his last words run through my head like a freight train heading to heaven knows where. 

_“Find me in another life.”_

** THEN **

“I don't understand this.”

I raise an eyebrow and glance at him as he looks at the television with a pained expression. 

“This is supposed to be funny?”

“It’s one of the most popular programs of all time.” I nod and watch as his face contorts more in disgust. 

“I just don't...get it.”

I laugh and nuzzle my face deeper into his neck. His frame is formed around my front; his back nestled securely against my chest and my arms wrapped around him tightly; as we try, a big emphasis on try; to do mundane activities like ‘real’ couples do. I suggested watching television. He just shrugged and settled in front of me as I spooned him on the couch. But Alec is restless by nature and he was bored with the form of entertainment 5 minutes in. 

“You find this to be amusing?” He asks, with pure honest curiosity in his voice. 

“It fills the void.” 

“The void?”

I sigh. “For mundanes. It fills the voids in their lives. It lets them escape the chaos and tragedy of their everyday lives.”

“I guess...I can understand that.”

“You read, as do I, some people watch TV. It's all the same.” I kiss his neck. “Don’t judge.”

“I’m not!” He protests, turning his head to look at me with those eyes. “I just...don’t find this...program...entertaining.”

“Well,” I purr into his ear. “What would you find entertaining?” I slide my hand slowly down his chest and rest is it against the bulge in his sweatpants. 

“Magnus…” He moans, pushing into my hand. With a snap of my fingers, the TV is off and he is on his back as I look down at him. He licks his lower lip and bucks his hips up into mine. 

“I find you much more interesting to look at, to be honest.” I run my tongue along his bottom lip and he groans loudly. He’s gotten so much more vocal and it makes it almost intolerable to resist him. “Bedroom?”

He shakes his head gently across the plush throw pillow. “No, let's stay here.”

I smile and kiss him softly. “As you wish.”

** NOW **

“You risk much coming to me like this, Warlock.”

I bow before her and all her beauty. “I wouldn’t be here if I had a choice, my queen.”

She raises an eyebrow at me and circles me, her long flowing glittery gown wafting behind her. “Speak.”

“I need entrance into a portal,” I say quickly, unable to look her in the eye. 

“You are the high Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane. What could you possibly need my help in when it comes to portals.”

“This is...a parallel portal.”

She stills, her face paling more white than her skin already represents. “We don’t--we don’t open those kind of portals. There are laws. Of nature. Of fate. Alternate dimensions are one thing...but I know what you are asking, Magnus Bane, and the fact that you could even ask me goes against the accords let alone the disrespect-”

“I’ve lost someone.”

She is silenced and she turns to face me. “The Shadowhunter.”

I nod. 

“I heard whispers of your union...but I didn't know what to believe.”

“It's the truth. I...we...I love him. Very much. But…” I can't finish the sentence. I haven't been able to say it out loud since it happened. Then it makes it real. 

“Magnus, human love is ridiculous. If you have come here hoping to make a deal based on feelings, you have surely overestimated me. Let alone what you are asking of me...I could lose my throne for. The chaos it could cause if something were to go wrong could devastate our world and other worlds. To throw off fate…” She touches my face gently and I flinch in her palm. “Not everyone is meant to live forever. Just because you have evaded that pesky thing called death forever, doesn't mean the people around you do. It's the price you pay for power such as yours.”

“Please,” I beg. I pull away from her and drop to my knees. “Please. I promised him. I promised him I’d find him.”

“Magnus,” She kneels in front of me. “He won't know...it won't be the same person you love. He won’t know you. What you were. I believe it's best to hold onto that. Hold onto what you were.”

“No.” I stand, wiping the tears that have begun to form in my eyes. “No. If you won't help me, I’ll do it myself.”

“Magnus Bane, I warn you. Do not go down this path. You won't be able to return.” The Seelie Queen’s voice follows me as I make my way out of the forest. 

“That’s what I’m hoping for.”

** THEN **

“I’m still not sure why we are doing this.”

He hands me the bow and gives me a smirk. “Because the next time you overuse your magic from helping us I don't want you completely defenseless. You know…” He clears his throat. “In case I can’t get to you in time.”

“My hero.” I wink at him and fit the arrow on the string, pulling back and aiming for the board a yard away.

It's a beautiful day. The sun bright and the air warm and I wonder how Alec is not dying from the heat in all that leather, but the way his upper chest glistens with sweat, I won't ask. Unless he decides to take his shirt off…

“Magnus.” His stern voice brings me back to the task at hand and I pull back a little more on the bow. “Now don't just aim at the target. Try to feel where you want it to go. If you talk to it with your hands it will listen.”

“Alec, you are so poetic when it comes to your bow and quiver,” I giggle a little but concentrate, like he said, on the target. 

“I’m good with my hands,” He whispers in my ear as I let go of the arrow; it swirling completely out of control, just like my hormones at his words, and falls dead on the grass. 

I glare at him as he smiles and hands me another arrow. “Try again. Don’t let the outside world distract you. You’re going to be having demons, downworlders, who knows what, coming at you while you're fighting. You need to concentrate. You need to be one with the bow.”

I look at him while he’s talking. So confident. So precise. So beautiful and perfect. 

“You’re not paying attention.” He folds his arms. 

“Oh, I am. Just not to the bow.” I wiggle my eyebrows. 

He groans.

** NOW **

“I can't just give it to you, Magnus. It belongs to the institute.”

I glare at him and he just stands there with that smug and arrogant look on his face. 

“I...want it. It was his.”

“I...I know.” He lowers his voice and his arms. And his defenses. “But it's not mine to give.”

“Then let me talk to Maryse.” I go to push past him and he grabs my arm. 

“Wait.”

I eye him as the wheels inside his head turn and he looks around to see who was actually paying attention to us. “If I give it to you...if anyone ever asks...you stole it. And whatever repercussions come from that, I can't be held accountable for. You're on your own.”

I just look at him. He’s challenging me. As if any of that phases me. 

“Why do you want it so badly?”

I pull my arm away from him. “He taught me...we…” I swallow. Don’t Bane. Don’t cry. It's bad enough you need to ask Jace for help. Don't lose it now. “It's important to me, okay?”

He should understand. He lost Alec too. The love he feels for Alec isn’t the kind I felt, but it was still love. The love of a brother, of a Parabatai, must run on a completely different level than cosmic love. They were family...and what I am asking...it must be hard for him to give up that part of Alec too. I know I’m being selfish. No one needs to tell me. I don’t need a reminder of how I am acting. I know. But I don’t care. I know my pain is causing me to do. I can see the pain on his face. No matter what kind of warrior Jace had been trained to be, when you lose a brother...

He nods, his face soft, acknowledging my own pain. “Alright. I...I’ll get it to you. Just give me some time.”

“Thank you.”

I watch as he moves gracefully through the institute and I catch Isabelle’s eye as I turn to leave. She gives me a small smile and waves but I turn without an expression.

** THEN **

“So…”

I raise an eyebrow at Jace as he gives me a devious smirk. 

“You and Alec seem pretty...hot and heavy.”

I want to give him an eye roll, which is usually my reaction to anything Jace says in my general direction. But I can’t help but grin my normal Cheshire cat-like way. 

“Mmm, seems that way no?”

He huffs out a laugh. “Every time I ask Alec anything about you, even if your name is said in passing in the Institute, he just breaks out into a blinding blush.” 

My chest warms at the thought. That my name alone causes such a reaction in my boy. “Well, I do have that effect on men.”

He rolls his eyes and I continue with the objective of putting a better cloaking spell over the Institute. I offered; I need to make sure my Alec is safe, beyond safe, when I cannot be with him. 

“He’s happy, you know.” 

My hands in midair seize their familiar purple electricity. I don’t look at him. 

“Is he?”

“Very.”

I smile. “Thank you.”

“No, Magnus. Thank you.”

**NOW**

“I, uh, brought you some soup!”

I frown at the over excitable child of the night. “Who invited the vampire?”

“Magnus,” Clary sighs. She sets the bag of delicious smelling food on my table. “We just wanted to come see you.”

“As much as I appreciate the intrusion,” I say with sarcasm, “I must ask you to leave. Very busy man, with a lot of important people to see.”

“Magnus.” She says my name again, this time with utter sadness in her tone. I glance her sidekick. 

“Heard about you and Isabelle. My congratulations.”

Simon tries to smile. But he’s too sad for me. That is exactly what I don’t need. 

“Just thought maybe we could eat together. Talk.” Clary deflects. 

“About what?” I graze my arms out, eyebrow raised. 

“I’d like to talk about Alec.”

I visibly wince. “Not interested.”

“So what? You just forget him now? Is that it? He’s gone and you’re still here...forever, and you move on?” She’s yelling. At me. In my home. About...something she should tread very lightly about. 

“DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE MOVED ON?” The floorboards vibrate under our feet. “I’ve barely left this place in months. I can’t stand to even look at any of you because all it does…” I stop myself, taking in a breath. “If you think for one second that he isn’t on my mind, every second of every passing hour, you are sadly mistaken. How dare you come into my home and spew accusations-”

“I’m sorry, Magnus. I just...we all miss him too. I just thought it would be easier if we all got through this together.” Clary whispers. 

“Nothing is going to make this easier. Nothing, biscuit.”

** THEN **

Tingles invade every inch of my skin as I watch his muscles ripple and the sweat beads slide down his own skin on his back. I can hear him counting in a hushed tone as his arms and legs bend, up and down. Up and down. The air smells of endorphins. Energy. It's making everything vibrate. 

It’s not just lust. Yes, Alec is...fucking beautiful. Sexy. Sex on legs. But it’s more than that. Just watching him train and exercise shows me more than just sweaty flushed skin. It shows me his strength. His determination. His fierceness. His loyalty. To everything he puts himself into. 

He’s a man. And I cannot believe he is mine. 

“You really shouldn’t leave your door open, Alexander. Anyone could just walk in.”

On his last push down he loses his balance and falls onto his face and stomach with an ‘oof.’ He rolls with precision and grace onto his back and then flips up onto his feet and stands, eyes narrowed. 

“Magnus, my parents are here from Idris! What are you doing here?” He rushes past me and looks out into the hallway before closing his bedroom door. 

“Are they now?” I run my finger along his bicep; strained and swollen from his workout. “We’ll have to be quiet then.”

He flushes, more than he already is, and sighs. “Magnus, I told you…”

“I know. I know. At your own pace. Have I rushed you at all?”

“No.” He answers quickly. “No. You’ve been...patient. Oddly patient.”

“You are worth the wait, Alec.” I lean up and place a chaste kiss on his mouth. “I was just giving Jace the latest update I had on the forsaken I had seen recently and thought I would stop and say hello.” I put my hands up in defense. “I promise.”

“Oh. Well, hi.” He gives me a small smile. “But my parents are here. And if they…”

“I will keep a 5-foot distance. I promise.” I wave my hand out toward the middle of his floor where he was doing pushups. “Continue, please. Best show I have seen in a long time.”

He licks his lips and looks toward the door. “I...I missed you.” His eyes meet mine and I feel my heart begin to pound against my chest. 

“Prove it.” I challenge. 

He takes one large step toward me with those long legs of his and pushes his salty lips against mine. I open up easily for him; this part we have down now. The kissing. The caresses. I’m allowed to roam my hands along his chest and back now. Of course, I want more, but I will always respect his wishes. No matter what. 

My palms gather moisture as I run them down his abs. I moan into his mouth and he pulls me closer to him against his slick body. I don’t care that my satin shirt is getting wet. I need his mouth. I can smell his skin and feel his damp ridden hair against my forehead. This is why I am alive. I know it now. Him. He’s what I have been waiting for. 

“Alec, are you ready? We have a meeting in…OH BY THE ANGEL.” 

I didn’t even hear the door open and now Maryse Lightwood’s voice is invading my ears. Alec pulls away from me abruptly, wiping his now swollen lips against the back of his hand. 

“Mother.” He says respectfully. 

“Um, well hello there Magnus. I wasn’t aware you were here.” She looks everywhere inside the room but at us, her face crimson. 

“Just handing off some information to Jace and decided to say hello to Alexander here.” I pause. “It’s good to see you Maryse. You look lovely this evening.” I turn and wave my hand toward her outfit. 

She looks down at her dress. “Oh, well thank you. You look...extravagant as ever.”

“Guilty as charged.” 

I hear Alec groan behind me and I turn to him, smirking. “Perhaps you should get dressed now, Alec. Meeting and all.”

“Uh, yes. Um, right. Clothes. I…” He searches my eyes. “I’ll see you later?”

“Of course.” I give his forearm a squeeze and turn to leave. “Maryse. Always lovely to see you.”

When I exit the bedroom I run right into the grinning faces of Jace and Isabelle. They burst into laughter as soon as they see me. 

“You two are evil, evil children.”

Their laughter echoes the halls along with the stern voice of Maryse coming from Alec’s bedroom.

**NOW**

The soft tapping on the door disrupts me from my daze as I stare absentmindedly at the television. I can’t tell you how long I’ve been sitting in this same position on the couch. Days, maybe? Minutes roll into hours and hours into days, and the longer I hide the harder it is to figure out between days and nights. There is no real time in my life anymore. There never really was. I’m immortal. Time was always fleeting, meaningless to me. But with Alec...time became something I treasured. I held it close to me and found myself looking at clocks and watching a sunset. Because every passing moment was another moment closer to him being with me. Another second he was in my arms. 

But time now is just another tiresome reality. Something I care nothing about. 

The taps begin again and when I stand I notice my legs stiff and barely walkable. 

It had been longer than I thought. 

It’s probably Izzy again. Or Clary. Or maybe Jace finally retrieving and handing over what I asked of him. That makes my chest pound a little harder as I walk to the door because it brings me one step closer back to Alec. 

But it’s none of them who stands at my doorstep. 

But she has his eyes. 

Maryse Lightwood. 

“Magnus.” She says gently. Probably the gentlest I have ever heard her voice. She looks tired. Like she had finally just stopped crying and her eyes are adjusting back to normalcy. 

“Maryse.” I step back and motion inside. “Come in if you’d like.”

She steps in hesitantly and looks around and I already know what she is thinking. ‘This is where Alec spent most of his time. This is where his boyfriend lives.’

“I’m sorry to just...show up like this. I just…” She walks in father into my loft still looking around with wide eyes. “This is a very beautiful place.”

“It does the trick,” I answer with a hint of guilt in my voice. There is so much she doesn’t know. So much that Alec still hid from her because he knew she didn’t approve. 

“I suppose it does.” She turns to look at me her eyes sad and distant. “I just...thought it was about time we spoke. About...about Alec.”

I raise an eyebrow at her and cross my arms. “Seems a little redundant, no?”

“I shouldn’t have...I should have…” She sighs. “I know I didn’t support him like I should have. I know…” She wrings her hands together in front of her. “I just...need to know if he was happy. If when my son died, he was happy.”

I feel for her. Like I feel for everyone who lost him beside me. There is a darkness in the world now that has seeped into the ground beneath us. It’s colder. Less bright. We all feel it. Izzy lost her brother. But Maryse lost her son. 

“I made him the happiest I could.” 

She nods, her mouth tight to keep her lips from quivering from the new tears that are forming in her eyes. “Ever since Alec met you he was...different.”

I just eye her and wait for her to continue. 

“He was always so serious. But he had this loneliness in his eyes. He had Jace and Isabelle, but I could tell he longed for more. Isabelle is the exact opposite of that. She’s an amazing Shadowhunter but...she put her heart out there. Sometimes perhaps in the wrong places, but she still did. And I always frowned upon that. I tried to teach Alec that emotions cloud judgment. He listened. For a very long time. Then he met you. And his entire world changed. He became calmer. Less tense. He smiled. And in a lot of ways, he became braver.”

“He was the bravest person I have ever met.” 

She lets out a breath I didn’t even know she had been holding. “That’s a lot coming from a 300-year-old Warlock.” 

I smirk. “Alec was an incredible man. I was privileged to have known him.”

She sighs. “Did you love my son?”

I swallow, feeling my hands begin to shake. I never imagined myself having this conversation with her. Of all people. “With every ounce of my heart. I’ve lived for hundreds of years, but I never loved anyone the way I loved your son, Maryse.” 

She finally lets herself cry, and I go against my better judgment, taking her in my arms as she sobs on my shoulder. I get that I may be the only person she can do this in front of, other than her husband. She needs to stay strong for the clave, for the Institute. She needs to show them the fight must go on; that it’s what Alec would have wanted. 

But we both know it’s bullshit. And that’s why she’s allowing me to see this side of her. She lost her son. The fight, in her eyes, is over. 

She pulls back, wiping her eyes and straightening her jacket. “I’m sorry. I got carried away.”

“There is no shame in showing grief. We all feel it.” I assure her. 

“He loved you. I could tell. You lit up his entire world.”

I can feel the new intrusion of grief and tears and sorrow invade me and I need to look away from her eyes. 

She has Alec’s eyes. 

“I’m glad,” I whisper. 

“Keep in touch, Magnus. You are always welcome at the Institute. You are an ally to the clave. For all you’ve done for us.” She pauses. “And for Alec.”

I nod, but still cannot look at her. 

She lets herself out and as soon as I hear the door close I finally allow myself to fall apart and I collapse onto my knees, the pain I have been trying to keep inside flowing freely.

**THEN**

“I need a shower.” 

He walks ahead of me into the loft and I can smell the sweat and dirt and decay on him from the fight. His leather pants are soaked in demon blood and I swear I see some guts stuck in his mussed up hair. 

If he wasn't so damn cute I’d find him repulsive. 

“Feel free.” I wave my hand toward the bathroom as I slowly remove my coat, my muscles aching. When Alec is done I need a nice long soak with those bath beads I got from the Seelies. Makes my bath water all sparkly and magical. 

I pour myself a drink, God, do I need one, and turn to settle myself down onto the soft, yes, so soft, couch. 

But my feet cement themselves and my glass shatters onto the hardwood floor. 

Alec, my beautiful, beautiful Alec, is standing in front of me. Naked. 

His skin still glistening with sweat. His hair, sticking every which way. And his eyes, sweet lord his eyes, burning a hole into mine. Like he’s challenging me. But I can also see his hands shaking a bit. 

He’s nervous. I make him nervous. 

And it sends a thrill through me. 

“Alexander, I thought you were going to take a shower?” I say as flirty and smoothly as I can. The thing is I’m nervous too. This is the first time I’ve seen him fully...erect...no, naked. Dammit. And yes I’m staring. I can’t not. His skin covered in runes and tan by nature. The exact perfect amount of body hair that is so soft, and his abs, did I mention his fucking abs? 

“Thought you could join me?” He tries, the dear boy tries, to sound seductive. And to anyone else it would have sounded like a pathetic attempt but to me, it made him even sexier if that’s even possible. 

So I step forward, over the broken glass and watch as his Adam’s apple bobs in anticipation. “Want me to wash your back, Alexander?” I breathe on his lips and the soft fabric of my pants rubs against his jutting appendage. He gasps and looks down between us. He might be having second thoughts and that's okay. 

“I...yes.” He locks eyes with me again, so brave, so proud. 

“Mmm. Very well. Come.” I take his hand, leading him toward the bathroom. 

“But the glass…” He protests, twisting in my grasp, pointing at the mess on the floor. I don't even pay any mind, snapping my fingers and it's not like nothing ever happened. 

“You’re such a cheater.” He mumbles. 

“Oh, Alec my love, you have no idea.”

**NOW**

“Magnus, you must know this is not one of your more brilliant ideas. I feel as though this is going to have quite a tragic end.”

“Leave it to you, Ragnor, to haunt me instead of him.”

“And is that honestly what you want, Magnus? For him to haunt you?”

I quit stirring for a moment and close my eyes, his smile dancing behind them. “No. Which is why I am doing this. I promised him.”

“It was silly pillow talk, Magnus! He wouldn't want you to possible destroy dimensions just to fulfill some fairy tale notion that the two of you are meant to be together in every universe!” 

“If you came here just to lecture me and try to talk me out of this then you can just go. It was you who convinced me not to give up on him when he was going to marry. Why can't you support me now?” I raise my hand above the bowl and yes, it's coming along nicely. I can feel the power of this spell. It's almost perfect. 

“I cannot support nor condone the misuse of your power. I cannot sit by and watch you break a hole in the fabric of time just because your boyfriend died!”

My hand's fist at my sides and the floorboards begin to shake. “Boyfriend? You think this is some tiny heartbreak, Ragnor? You think this is like that time in Venice? Or my fleeting relationships I’ve had over the past few centuries? Alec…” I swallow down his name like nails. “Alec was the love of my life. I was...I’m willing to give all this up for him. Give up my immortality. I spent lifetimes trying to find someone that really looked at me and saw me. Someone I was willing to be immortal for and grow old with. Someone to take care of ME for once while I grew old instead of watching them wither away to nothing. This way we both die old and senile together. Alec was too young. We had barely started...I wanted more time!”

Ragnor winces deeper and deeper as I continue on my pitiful tale of woe. “Magnus, my dear friend. Maybe you got all the time you needed. It seems this boy really changed you. And maybe that's all he was supposed to do. Being immortal, you should know better than anyone; how people come and go in and out of life like the wind. They serve a purpose and then move on. Maybe Alec’s purpose was you. To show you love in a way you’d never known. And to love him in return. Maybe it's just supposed to be as simple as that.”

“No, no. There’s more. I promised him. And I always keep my promises.” I turn back to my spell and hear my oldest friend sigh heavily behind me. 

“My heart aches for you, Magnus. I truly hope this ends the way you want it to. I’d hate to see more heartache added.”

** THEN **

The water rains down over his head as he murmurs soft praises at the feeling of my hands washing his back. My lips meet every patch of skin my hands do and I have found out within the last 10 minutes that the nape of his neck is very sensitive. 

He’s hard. 

Incredibly hard. It's impossible not to notice it. The tip of his cock red and angry for release. His balls, plump and full...I keep pushing my own aching dick against Alec’s ass and every now and then he will push back against me and it takes every ounce of magic in my body not to cum. Alec is sexy is the most obvious of ways, but it's not those things that make me weak. It's the flush of his skin when Alec looks at me. It’s his awkwardness and clumsiness that I bring out in him. It’s his smile when Alec doesn't think I’m looking. How he just stares at me sometimes and it makes me wish I had the ability to read his mind, just once, in one of those moments. 

It’s his bravery. His stubbornness. It's Alec’s flaws that make him the most appealing. Anyone can be physically beautiful, those types of people are a dime a dozen; but pure beauty, the kind of Alec has, is something rare. 

And I get to have it. 

“Alec,” I purr. “I think we’re clean enough.”

He groans and turns in my arms. “Fine.” He whines. “Felt good.”

“I can make you feel even better…” I offer, searching Alec’s eyes. I feel the tension immediately stream back into the shadowhunters muscles and I quickly shush him.

“Never mind. I’m sorry, Alexander. This was a big step for you. And it means so much to me. I’m sorry I pushed.”

“No. It's...okay. I...let's um…” His fumbling of words just makes me want to shove him against the tiles and kiss him until his knees give out. 

“Go to bed?”

Alec’s eyes widen but he nods slowly. I turn the water off, reaching past him to turn the nobs. My fingers brush his bare side and he shudders. So sensitive to my touch. This is going to be heaven. 

He wraps a big white fluffy towel around his waist, droplets of water trickling down his runes and he watches me watch them as the slide down and when our eyes meet again his mouth is hanging open and his chest is heaving. 

“Magnus…” he whispers. 

And that's when I know. Tonight is the night. And I don't know what makes tonight so special in Alec’s eyes...but I know he’s ready. We have done other things. Rubbing against each other through denim and leather. But I can tell just from the look in his eyes he wants more. It's radiating off him and I feel myself begin to tremble at the fact that he’s choosing me. He wants me to experience this with him. He trusts me to take care of him. And I will. 

From this day on and forward. 

I kiss him and his lips are still wet with cleanliness and he pulls me against him, our bodies slapping together from the moisture. I can feel him, all of him, against me and when I grind up into him he moans so loudly into my mouth it vibrates off the walls of the bathroom. 

“I need you now, Alexander,” I confess. “Please.”

“Yes, yes,” he chants and begins to push me backward out of the bathroom. It's a clumsy walk to the bedroom, but it wouldn't be us if it wasn't. I’ve had lovers where our romps in bed could have been filmed and sold as movies. I’ve had lovers that were as beautiful as gods and goddesses; some were. But none of them do or ever will compare to my Alec. 

I’m nervous and it's a new feeling for me. This man makes me want to be better. Because I’m better when I’m with him. 

The back of his knees hit the bed and I wrap my arm around his waist to hoist him up the bed onto the pillows. His head falls back against them and he looks at me with those damn eyes and I ever so gently remove the towel from his waist. No magic tonight. I want him to feel and see every mundane thing I’m going to do to him. 

When his cock hits the cool air; straining; still needy and solid, he catches himself reaching down to touch himself. He hands stills, eyes wide as I smirk down at him. 

“Show me. Show me how you touch yourself, Alec.”

He swallows; down any fear he has left over; and begins to tug on himself. His breath catches and his eyes flutter a bit, and even though I want to see the way his long fingers wrap around his dick, I’m more interested in the facial expressions he makes when something feels good to him. So I know later when I’m allowed to finally have him, I’ll know what to keep doing. 

He lets out a small whimper and I have to gaze down as he pleasures himself. The tip of his cock is red and leaking and I want to taste him so badly. 

“Can I...please, Alexander?” I hover my hand above his and he whines loudly, slowly removing his hand and pushing mine down. All I do is push my palm against his tip and he throws his head back groaning, the runes on his neck pulsing on his skin. He's so wet and when I lick my palm and taste him on my own skin I pant like a dog as I begin to stroke him in earnest. He’s gripping the sheets in his fingers and his freshly clean skin begins to form a sheet of sweat. My own cock stands at attention and he eyes it, licking his lips. He raises his hand hesitantly but eventually wraps his fingers around just the tip and my breath stutters at his gentle caress. 

He doesn't stroke, just holds onto it like its tethering him to this plane of existence. He’s close and as much as I want to see him come undone beneath me I don't want this to end just yet. I let go of him slowly and his eyes widen and he whimpers, gripping my dick tighter. 

“Magnus...no…” He pleads. I lean down, capturing his lips, pulling his bottom lip between my teeth. He wraps his legs around me as best he can, trying to get closer, always closer to me as I kiss him. 

“I know, darling. Just hold on, I promise I’ll make this good. Do you trust me?”

He nods vigorously. I smile against his lips. “Good.”

I reach between us, snapping my fingers and when my hand reaches his entrance he gasps and clenches at the lubed finger. “Shhh.” I coax him. “Trust me.”

He looks at me, I mean really looks into me, and nods. He lets his legs fall to open for me. I circle around his opening and his chest begins to heave. But I take my time. I caress and push just slightly as it winks and flutters at my touch. He’s going to be tight. I won’t be able to make love to him tonight; he won't be ready for some time. But this is the first step of him opening himself sexually for me. I was patient with him, he knows it, and I knew he would let me know when he was ready.

He was worth the wait. This is worth the wait. The look on his face as I finally push the tip of my finger inside him. The ‘O’ he makes with his mouth at the stretch and burn. But the pleasure too. 

“Does it feel good?” I whisper as I place small kisses on his chest over his heart. He nods and his chin hits the top of my head and I grin into his skin.

“D-do you like it?” He stutters out. I raise my eyes up to his, my lips still attached to his right nipple. 

“You feel amazing, Alexander. I’ve waited so long for this.”

“I know. I-I’m sorry.”

“Shhh. Stop. No. You were worth every second. This-” I push my finger in deeper, hitting that spot inside him that sends sparks behind his eyes and his hips buck and raise off the bed. “-Feeling was worth every fucking second.”

He moans pornographically. He loves when I curse. He barely ever does and for some reason when the curses come out of my mouth it makes him blush deep in his cheeks. I want to take him in my mouth so badly I’m actually salivating for it, but I don't want to completely overwhelm him. He’s already come so far tonight. But he’s close. His belly is smeared with wetness and I know I’m leaking all over his legs each time I rut against him. 

But this isn't about my release. I need to see him come undone. 

I slide a second finger inside him and his whole body goes completely rigid and then it happens. He lets out a sound that for a moment I feel as though I have hurt him in some way but then he begins to shake and his ass clenches around my fingers and his mouth opens and he sobs as his cock erupts, sending white ropes between our bodies. It’s as if his entire body is convulsing and I watch his face as a wave of different emotions wash over him as he comes. 

God, he is so beautiful. 

I milk every second of pleasure out of him and wait as his body soothes, my fingers still inside him just filling him. His eyes finally open after a few minutes and he smacks his lips together as if he’s dehydrated. His eyelashes flutter over his rosy cheeks and he smiles at me and if I already didn't know angels existed…

I kiss him sweetly, just to assure him that I’m here and yes it was me who made him feel that good. I feel his fingers brush up my dick and I moan into his mouth. 

“Let me…” His hand wraps around me and I lean up, straddling his long lean legs. He works me, his wrist twisting in the most fluent of ways and it surprises me for someone who probably had barely ever touched himself this way. But he’s watching me intently as he jerks me; just as I did with him; making sure every twist of his wrist is something I’m enjoying. I growl at him and he licks his lips, quickening his jerks and I feel my balls draw up and I throw my head back and feel myself let go. The air around our bodies begins to vibrate and when I finally release so does some of my magic. He moans at the feeling of my cum hitting his hand and skin, as well as the tingle of my magic, pouring in around him. He shudders and his other hand finds mine as we intertwine our fingers and ride out the experience together. 

I had never done that with anyone before. Flooded my magic into another. But we have both now shared our energies with one another. It's the highest form of intimacy when it comes to our kinds. 

I slowly lower myself on top of him and rest my head on his chest. I can hear his rapid heartbeat as it begins to slow and regain its steady rhythm. He runs his fingertips up and down the skin of my back and I melt myself into him. 

I’ve fallen in love with him. 

And it's everything I dreamed it could be.

** NOW **

I lay his bow and quiver in the center, my fingers grazing longer than they should over them. Not much longer. Everything is set and soon I will be with him again. To fulfill the promise I committed to. 

I stand and extend my hands outward toward the runes and artifacts. Purple swirls begin to swarm around me and I close my eyes. 

_Educet me in virtute angeli in universo parallela dilecto!! Tradas me Alexander Lightwood._

The floors and walls begin to shake and the whirlpool of magic opens up in my floor and I have to stay planted as best I can so it does not suck me in. I take a deep breath, my last one in this world and step into the magic. 

“I’m coming Alec.”

**THEN**

I feel him stir next to me and I open one eye and immediately close it again when the sun coming in from the windows hits it. I groan and try to pull the comforter up over my head but it's too tangled in his long limbs. I turn to look at him; his dark locks fanned across the crisp white pillowcase and I can't help but smile. 

His chest rises and falls with each breath; the runes on his skin shimmering in the morning light. I reach out and brush a strand of hair off his forehead and he scrunches his nose which forces a giggle to escape my lips.

It's the first time he’s spent the whole night with me. 

After I cleaned him up last night; using a warm washcloth, not magic; I asked him if he was going to go back to the institute. I ask him this question every night he is here late and the answer is always the same, with the same hesitant look but he always answers yes. But not last night. 

Last night when I asked the question he looked relaxed, happy. And he answered with an astoundingly sure “No. I’m staying with you.”

As Alec gets more and more at ease with himself and his feelings, the closer he edges towards me. But even in his new found confidence he still stammers and fumbles with certain words and feelings, which is just his Alec way. It's endearing. And adorable. 

He kicks at the comforter; his body always running hotter than most people’s, and his legs become even more tangled in the blankets and it pulls down off my own body. I roll onto my side and run my hand with feathery touches down his bare chest. I watch as his skin prickles and he moans quietly and his legs fall open. 

If I wasn't a gentleman and respectful of this angelic creature in my bed I would take him right here, right now. But I can't. Not yet. 

“Alexander,” I whisper against the shell of his ear. He stirs and his eyes blink open sleepily. 

“Hi.” He breathes out, squinting at the rays of sun coming in through my windows. I snap my fingers and they close and he sighs happily. “Thanks.”

I brush my lips softly against his. “Sleep well?”

“Mmm hmm.” He shuffles his legs a little across the sheets and stretches his arms out above his head, his hands grabbing the headboard and I watch as his muscles strain and hear his bones crack with morning stiffness. “You?”

“Best sleep of my life.”

He snorts. “I find that hard to believe,” He says in a hoarse voice. He looks down at the bunched up sheets and blanket. “I stole these.”

“That you did. Good thing I had you to keep me warm all night.”

And there’s the blush again. I still have him. 

“I woke up at one point and you were holding me…” His brown eyes glimmer with sleepiness and he has morning breath but he has never been sexier than in this moment. 

“Did it upset you?”

He shakes his head. “I enjoyed it. I...it felt nice.”

“Good.” I give him a light kiss. “When are you leaving me?”

He glances at the clock on my bedside table. He shrugs as he turns his attention back to me. “I don't have to if you don't want me to.”

“Alec, I never want you to leave me, but I know you have duties to attend to.”

He ponders this for a moment, licking his lips in that way he does when he is deep in thought. “Let's spend the day together.”

My eyes widen slightly. This is all so new. “Really now?”

“Mmm.” He gives me a small smirk. “What do you wanna do?”

I huff out a laugh and fall back against my pillows. “Such an open-ended question.”

He slaps my bare chest playfully. “I mean outside these four walls.”

“But Alexander, it's so nice here in these four walls. Away from everything. Just you and me.” I can tell he’s not amused. “Okay. Lunch in the park? Museum?”

He runs his fingers through his bedhead and pulls at the ends, thinking. “We could stay in. Watch a movie. Read.” 

“Now you’re talking.” I swing my legs over the side of the bed. I need to use the bathroom, badly. I’ve had to since the very early morning hours but untangling myself from Alec would have been a feat in itself. 

“And we could have sex.”

And that’s when I fall off the bed.

** NOW **

When the blackness fades and my eyes finally adjust to the light, I blink the bright sun out of my eyes and take in my surroundings. 

It's New York. 

Central Park to be exact. 

It all looks...the same. 

People buzz by me, jogging, on bikes, skateboards, pushing baby strollers. People sit on park benches, on their phones or reading. There is a couple against that tree making out. 

It's sunny and warm and people go by me like it's any other day.

It is in their world. But this isn't my world.

I smooth my hands down my clothing and almost gasp when I look down at myself. I’m wearing jeans. Normal everyday Levis jeans. And a...t-shirt. A worn old t-shirt. I quickly move my hands up to my hair and feel absolutely no hairspray or mousse or anything keeping it styled. And I have sneakers on. Nike freaking sneakers. 

Who am I in this world? Do I even exist? Did I just take over the body of the Magnus Bane who exists here? I snap my fingers for a mirror because I need to see how awful my face must look in this world but nothing happens. 

No magic. 

Or I’m not magic. 

A world without magic. 

Am I…

What if Warlocks don’t even exist in this world? What if Alec isn't even in this world? If there are no Downworlders, could there be shadowhunters? 

I compose myself and begin to walk, looking for a landmark for me to know exactly where in the park I am. I need to find some sort of computer or God forbid, a phone book. I need to know if Alec Lightwood is even here. 

What if this world doesn't even have computers. No, they must. That guy over there is talking on a cell phone. Okay, get it together Bane. So you have no magic. You can survive. 

I pat my back pockets and aha yes. A wallet. I pull it out and literally fall over when I see the New York drivers license stuffed neatly in the little pocket. 

Magnus Bane  
244 West 64th Street  
Apartment 5D  
New York NY 

West 64th street? I don't even live in Brooklyn? What kind of chaotic world is this? 

Behind my license is a badge with my goofy ass smile on it. 

Vanguard Technologies  
Expert Software Developer

Am I a computer nerd? I roll my eyes and search the rest of the pockets. Credit Cards and about 60 bucks in cash. As least I have money. I push the wallet back into my pocket and feel a phone in my next one. Yes. Thank the stars.

I pull it out frantically and press the internet button. 

People search.

Alexander Lightwood.

Searching. 

One name found.

Address: 

2730 Bedford Ave  
Brooklyn NY 11226

That’s my boy. 

Ohhh, the subway. I can do this. 

And I take off running through the park. I guess sneakers will come in handy today after all.

** THEN **

It’s like he never even said it. 

He’s fluttering around my loft, making us sandwiches, after going to the store to get the supplies to make them, and he has music on; sad emo music that I will never understand why this generation chooses to listen to but it's Alec so I will indulge his need to be a psychological wrist cutter if he chooses; and I can barely concentrate and he’s just FINE. 

It's maddening. 

He hands me a plate with the most perfectly made sandwich I have ever seen and I find myself glaring at him. 

“What?” He pulls the plate back. “Do you not like turkey?”

I find my breathing becoming ragged. This is not like me. I’m cool. I’m calm. This does not happen to me. 

But then in walks this shadowhunter...this boy...and I lose all control.

“Turkey is fine. I suppose I just have a few things on my mind.” I take the plate from him but lay it on the counter in front of me. 

“Oh.” He takes a large bite of his own sandwich. “Like what?” He mumbles over his chewing. 

“You.”

His eyebrow goes up as he swallows. “Me?”

I nod and pick at the perfectly green and firm lettuce sticking out from between the pieces of bread of my lunch. Who am I right now?

“Care to elaborate?” He takes another huge bite leans his hip against the counter. 

When the hell did he get all this confidence? Since when is Alexander Lightwood so aloof? It's maddening, I tell you. 

I grip the edge of the counter trying to contain myself. How do I say this eloquently? How do I say the things swirling through my head without scaring him off? Alec may be coming off this way now, but deep down I know he is still coming into his own. As a man, let alone a man who enjoys the company of other men, and his own sexual needs and desires. 

I need to tread lightly with this angelic creature. 

“WHY DID YOU SAY WE COULD HAVE SEX TODAY?”

I bring my hand to my mouth as soon as the words escape it. He sputters, choking as pieces of turkey, bread and lettuce spew all over my designer counter. He coughs, reaching for his glass of water as his face turns red from lack of oxygen. 

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he swallows whatever is left in his mouth. His eyes are watery from choking and his forehead creased. 

“I...you...I thought you wanted to!”

“I DO. BUT YOU SAY IT SO NONCHALANTLY AND I’VE BEEN TRYING TO BE PATIENT AND NOT RUSH YOU AND I WANTED TO MAKE IT SPECIAL AND PERFECT WHEN YOU WERE READY-”

“Well, maybe I am ready!”

“FINE. GOOD.”

“Good.” He slams his palm on the counter. “So...what do you wanna... now?”

“WELL, I CAN’T EAT AFTER THAT!”

He nods, taking one last gulp of his water and reaches for my hand aggressively, yanking me out of the kitchen and down the hallway toward my bedroom. 

Best. Argument. Ever.

**NOW**

The house is a light pale blue with white shutters. There is a small white fence around the front yard; like most yards in Brooklyn it's not too big, and there are yellow and orange tulips lining the perimeter of the house. There is a mountain bike leaning against the house on the small porch and I swallow hard at the wooden sign hanging on the front door. 

The Lightwoods. 

I open the latch on the gate and the creaking noise it makes, makes my hands tremble more than they already are. The neighborhood is so quiet this morning. I can hear a lawnmower in the distance and a barking dog next door. I can hear the swoosh in my ears from the wind as I walk up the sidewalk. My sneakers are heavy on the front stairs and I hesitate as I reach my hand out to ring the bell. What am I doing? He doesn't know me. What am I going to say? Are the Magnus of this world and he even friends? I know there is no magic in this world. Which probably means there are no such things as shadowhunters. 

I ring the bell with shaking hands. I hear commotion behind the door and when it finally opens I hear myself gasp from my lungs. 

It's Alec. Same black hair and piercing brown eyes. 

But he is in a police uniform. And if I have to shake my head and regain my surroundings because we had a joke not long ago about role playing and he would have to arrest me and...okay, off subject. 

But yes, Alec. 

Is a cop. 

“Can I help you?”

And I was right. He doesn't know me. 

“Hi, um…” Oh, how the tables have turned. I’m the awkward one stumbling on my words around him. “My name is Magnus…”

“OH! Right, sorry. My sister told me you’d be coming by. Come in, come in.” He holds the door all the way open for me. I step inside, eyes wide. “Sorry for the mess. We just got back from vacation and I’m going back to work in a few hours. Haven't had much of a time to clean up.”

I look around at the home. And that's what it is, a home. It looks lived in. Like memories take place here. 

Memories that don't belong to me. Or us. 

“My computer is right in here.” He leads me down a hallway as I look at the pictures scattered on the walls as we walk. I recognize him and Izzy as children. Maryse and Robert. Even Jace. I almost fall faint when I see the last picture in a silver frame right near the door he had just ducked into. 

A wedding photo. 

Of him. 

And Lydia. 

It never happened. Me walking into his wedding. 

Fate. 

I can't breathe. 

“Computer?” I finally push out of my lungs.

“Yeah.” He gives me an odd look. “Izzy said you work for a computer company.”

“OH! Yes, I’m sorry. Haven't had my coffee yet this morning. A little frazzled.” I look at the...large contraption sitting on the desk in what only I can construe is his ‘office’. 

“I get you. I’m useless without it. I have some made, would you like a cup?” He points over his shoulder but I shake my head. 

“No, I’m fine. I...I’ll just take a look here.” I sit slowly down on the leather rolling chair and move the mouse as if I know what the hell I’m doing. But I don't. I don't know what I’m doing here. In this house. With Alec. Or with this damn computer.

“I keep getting that blue screen of death.” He’s leaning down now next to me and I can feel his breath on my neck. Christ. 

“Um, yeah it's probably your hard drive. I can try to reinstall your drives but it's possible I might need to extract the data and format a whole new drive for you.”

What. The. Fuck. Was. That.

Maybe I ingested some of the mind of the Magnus of this world. Or the old part of me is slowly dissipating the longer I stay here. I know that happens when you go to other universes. But...this is different. It's like I have this Magnus’s knowledge...but the heart of who I am. 

“How much is that gonna be?” Alec asks standing, his hands stuffing into his tight work pants. I’m eye level with his crotch. I stare. I wonder if this Alec’s dick is as big as…

My eyes finally avert upwards and he’s...blushing. He caught me staring. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn't mean. Um, no. No cost. It's on me. Any brother of Izzy’s.” I stand. “When is a good time for me to bring my equipment over-”

“Honey, I’m leaving now...OH! Hello. You must be Isabelle's friend.” Lydia is standing in the doorway, her hair up in a bun and pants suit on. Business woman. Typical Lydia. 

“Yup. That’s me. Izzy’s computer nerd friend.” I close my eyes at how ridiculous I sound. 

She laughs as Alec makes his way to her and kisses her cheek lightly. “Have a good day at work. I’m on till Midnight tonight so don't wait up.”

“Be safe.” She pats his cheek and he smiles. 

“Always am.”

I feel my chest ache. He’s happy. They're happy. Maybe the way it was always supposed to be. 

What am I even doing here? I shouldn't be here. 

He turns back to me but stays planted at the doorway. His expression changes ever so slightly as we hear Lydia’s heels clicking down the hallway. Then the front door closes. I can practically see him counting in his head and his eyes narrow on me. 

I stand and wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. “Just let Izzy know when a good time is and-”

But I’m unable to finish my sentence. He takes two long strides toward me and suddenly my face is in his hands and his mouth is on mine, forcing my lips apart with his tongue and I can't move. I can't kiss back. He tastes just the same as my Alec and I want to touch him but the fear and sadness rush through me and in this moment all I want to do is cry. 

He pulls back, panting, eyes black with lust. 

“I have an hour before I have to leave.” He growls. 

All I can do is stare at him. 

“What’s wrong?” He steps back. “What happened?”

“We...this is what we do?” I ask softly. He’s married...even in our own world if Alec had decided to follow through on his wedding with Lydia, no matter how much I flirted and voiced my need and want for him, I never would have done this. I would never have condoned infidelity even if the marriage was a sham. Alec deserved better. So did Lydia. 

And so did I. 

“Mags,” He groans, “We talked about this. I can’t just…”

“So I’m your secret?” I feel sick. Literally sick. No, this isn't what I wanted. I wanted Alec. My Alec. This was a mistake. The worst mistake…

“I came here…” I trail off. “I can't be here.”

“Mags, I wish things were different.” He takes my face in his hands. He tries to get me to look at him. I can't. I just can't. “But they aren't. I have a life here. Lydia wants to get pregnant. I just...but I like you. I care about you.”

“Does Izzy know?” I swallow down the vomit forming in my throat. 

“No. And you can't tell her!” He says aggressively, taking a large step away from me. There he goes. And there it is. I just keep my eyes closed and try to keep myself from passing out. 

This isn't my Alec. No one could ever be my Alec. Because he was mine. And because of my own sorrow, my own guilt I just couldn't let him go. He told me to find him in another life. But this isn't him. No one will ever be him. 

“Goodbye, Alexander.”

I brush past him, walking past his life that hands perfectly symmetrical on the walls and out the front door, ignoring him calling after me no matter how much he sounds like Alec.

** THEN **

He was so confident, so sure of himself seconds ago. Now he’s standing in the middle of my bedroom unsure what to do with his hands; placing them on his hips, then crossing his arms; and huffing and puffing because he’s not sure what to do in this moment and it's showing. 

“Alec, my darling,” I say gently, reaching out to touch his arm. “We don't have to do anything. Seriously.”

“I-I want to.” He sighs. “I just don't know what to do.”

“You did fine last night, Alec.” I press myself against him and his breath catches. “It was hot.”

He swallows, his eyes never leaving mine. “Yeah?”

“Yes. Very.” I give him a chaste kiss. “You’re in control. Your pace. And we stop whenever you're not comfortable.”

I watch him visibly relax seconds later and he kisses me; his beautiful full lips wrapping around mine. I feel his hand on the back of my neck; not in a forceful way; but in a way that says ‘please just kiss me.’ So I do. We stand there for a long time, our mouths using their own language because I know how hard it is for Alec to use words to express himself. His lips, I know. His body, I will know. I can read his gasps of breath. His soft moans. The look in his eyes. In such a short time I have come to know the things about Alec I always dreamed of knowing in a lover. A partner. 

He pulls back, pressing his forehead to mine; lips swollen and eyes heavy with happiness. 

“I’m ready,” He whispers. “I am.”

“Okay,” I tell him and give him a soft nudge toward the bed. “Get undressed.”

He swallows, still so nervous and excited. His fingers shake a bit as he lifts his black t-shirt over his head and my eyes immediately go to the runes scattering his skin. They are glowing. 

“Alec...your runes,” I say softly, reaching out to touch one of them with my fingertips. It's burning hot on my hand. 

“Oh, um...I…” He blushes. “I...shit.”

“Something you’re not telling me, darling?”

“When I went out to the store today, I stopped at the institute.”

“Mmm hmmm…” I run my hands up his back, feeling his muscles contract and his breath hitch as I breathe on the back of his neck. 

“I um...Magnus…I used my stele.” He shudders as I grind my growing erection against his jeaned ass. 

“And?”

“I wanted...I knew...I gave myself a stamina rune.” He rushes out the last part and I moan loudly as my lips latch onto his skin. 

“You never cease to amaze me, Alec.” I turn him roughly and for a moment I think it may have been too much but then his arms around me and crashing his lips into mine before I can get to his. He pulls me on top of him onto the bed and we fall against the plushness with a flop.

“You did that for me?” I ask, butterflying my lips against his. He pushes his hips up into mine. 

“I wanted to last. I know...I wouldn't. I could barely last night.”

“Alexander, as much as I appreciate, and trust me that rune is going to come in handy for many, many years to come,” He blushes and licks his lips. “You didn't need to do that for me. I want you for you. Virgin and all.”

He opens his mouth to speak but shuts it slowly. He just nods.

“But we can't let it go to waste now that you have it, can we?” I smile and he mirrors my expression. 

“I guess not.” He kisses me again and pushes at my robe to get it off my shoulders. I lean up, untying the rope around my waist and let him throw it off me in the most rushed and awkward of ways. My beautiful sweet boy. 

I could use magic to get his tight jeans off, but I want this to be as human and mundane as possible for him. He deserves to have this experience be normal in his abnormal world. So I fumble with the button and zipper as I try to keep my mouth on his, and he lifts his hips and helps me push them down his strong muscular legs. His briefs get caught in the tightness and when his cock bounces free into the air, already angry and wet I waste no time and push myself down the bed and take him in my mouth in one long gulp. 

He cries out, bucking his hips up which makes his cock go deeper down my throat and I moan at the feeling. I feel his palm on the back of my head and I can faintly hear him saying my name but I tune out anything else but the feel of him heavy and soft on my tongue. Oh yes, this stamina rune will most certainly come in handy. 

I slide my tongue down the throbbing vein of his cock, and him mewling and thrashing on the bed as if this may be the most pleasure he has ever received in his life and he has no idea how to process it. 

And it is. No one has ever touched him like this. I get to be the first. 

And it's exhilarating. 

His cock pops from my mouth and I look up into his eyes and it takes my breath away. 

“Magnus…” He whimpers and I move up his body to kiss him so he can taste what I taste. He devours it and me and this boy, on the edge of becoming a man, has no idea how sexy he is. How he just screams pure sex with his body and the way he projects himself in his bravery and morals. I wonder what he could see in me; a centuries old downworlder who has done many dishonorable things in his long life. But Alec doesn't see those things in me. He sees the person I am inside. The person I’ve tried to hide so he doesn't get hurt. So the pain and chaos of the world don't affect me. He’s broken down my walls in single smiles and gestures. 

I’m in love. 

I love him. 

“Alec…” I brush his hair off his forehead; already wet with sweat. He looks at me; long lashes on perfect skin; and I can feel myself begin to shake. He holds me; as if he knows and feels what I am feeling. His lips are parted, panting at the intimacy and I almost have to hold back tears. It's too much. It's always too much with him. 

“I love you.” He blurts out and I close my eyes, allowing tears, that I believed had long dried up, to flow freely from my eyes. He has never said it, even though I’ve voiced my feelings on a few occasions to him. I never pushed for him to return the feeling. Even if he never did fall in love with me, loving him was enough. And that in itself is terrifying. 

“Alexander...you frighten me so.”

“W-why?” He whispers. I don't open my eyes. I can't look at him. I’ll drown. 

“Because I wasn't expecting you.” I breathe out. 

I feel his hands caress my bare back and he kisses my cheek ever so gently, nuzzling his face into mine. 

“I won't hurt you.” He promises.

I just cry harder.

**NOW**

Ducks are simple creatures. Not that I honestly trust any creature, animal or human really, but in this moment I wish I was a duck. Just swimming around, ducking their tiny heads under the water. People on the banks feeding them bread. They have it all figured out. Go south when it's cold, come back when it warms up. Pick a mate. Stick with it. 

Simple creatures. Unlike humans. Or warlocks. Or anything breathing at this point. 

I’ve been sitting on this park bench for almost 4 hours. I have no idea what to do now. I didn't exactly have this all planned out, which is nothing like me. I usually like to be prepared before I do anything so I’m not stuck exactly in the position I am right now. With nothing. 

I have no magic, which I honestly believe magic doesn't even exist in this world, and I have no way of getting back to my own life. 

But honestly, does it really matter? In both worlds, I am without Alec. So I might as well live out the rest of my now mortal life here and die slowly along with everyone else on the planet. 

I deserve that. For what I’ve done. This is Karma. I opened a portal I never had any business conjuring. I entered a type of world that has been closed off to Shadowhunters and Downworlders for a reason. 

I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere now. 

“Mind if I sit here?”

I look up and feel as if a vice is wrapping around my heart. 

Camille. 

“Of course.” I scoot over and watch as she takes a sip of her coffee and crosses her legs. Her black heel dangles off the tip of her toes as she shakes it. 

“Beautiful day.” 

I’m staring. I can't help it. 

She looks exactly like she should. But it's daylight. And she’s not bursting into flames. 

“It is,” I answer. 

She glances at me. “Doing some reflection?”

“You could say that. Came to a realization today. Just trying to let it sink in a little deeper before I decide what I’m going to do now.” I look back at the water and watch as 2 ducks swim around each other. They have it all figured out. 

“Can I ask what the realization was? I have of some of my own to find.” She huffs out a laugh. 

“I lost someone,” I say softly. “And I realize now I’m never going to get him back.”

She nods. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“Thanks.”

It's quiet for a while. Just the air blowing through the big maples and soft quacking of the ducks being our soundtrack to this late afternoon reflection. 

“Can I give you a piece of advice? Even though you didn't ask for it?” Her tone is soft and I wonder what it would have been like to be with this Camille. Not the downworlder. The Camille she was before. Soft spoken. Still with pain in her eyes but not dangerous. Just a woman. 

“Couldn't hurt.”

“The person you lost-”

“Alec. His name was Alec.”

She nods. “Alec isn't really gone. Physically, yes. But not what he was to you. And you could search for him in a hundred different people. You could compare every new person you meet to him, but all it will do is leave you sad and bitter because nothing and no one will ever compare to him. And that's okay. They aren't supposed to. But instead of searching, just hold him close. Keep him with you. Don't forget him. But live your life with that piece of him with you.”

I remain quiet for a moment, just looking at her as the wind off the water blows her jet black hair around her shoulders. 

“What was his name?” I ask gently. 

She looks at me, tears in her eyes. 

“Don’t toy with me, Magnus. It's been too long and we’ve come too far for that.”

And then I realize what I should have known from the moment I saw her. Of course, I know her. Of course, I know this version of Camille. How could I not?

“I’m sorry things didn't work out for you. I really am.” She uncrosses her legs and pushes the strap of her purse up her shoulder. She stands and looks down at me. “But fate is a strange thing, don't you think? Maybe you’ll find him in another life.”

And with that, she is gone. I watch her walk back up the path and out of my life. Again. 

Still beautiful. Still a mystery. 

But now I know what Alec meant when he said to find him in another life. 

He didn't mean parallel universes or worlds. He didn't want me to find another version of him. He meant in death. If my immortality ever ran out...or if I ever decided to give it up; and if there was one person I would for it would be Alec; to come find him when I perish from this world. 

He wants me to look for him in the afterlife. 

He wants me to live out whatever life I have left and when it's my time to leave...that’s when we would be together. 

Maybe Alec and I were meant to have our happily ever after on earth. In the world, we had found each other in. Maybe our destiny...our love was bigger than that. Cosmic. 

Infinite. 

For now, Alec would live inside me. In my heart. In my memories. 

It's what he would have wanted. 

And I always keep my promises.

**THEN**

His chest is blanketed over my back and his mouth is blowing hot gasps against my ear as his whole body trembles. I feel so full; not just from his cock deep inside me; but from him. The emotions, the intimacy of it all. 

I wanted to make love to him. I had intentions, as did he. But sometimes plans change and as I had hoped and expected, Alec and I were going to have the kind of relationship where sometimes things could change; situations; and we’d be able to change with them. 

And as he saw me crying; so broken in that moment; he knew he needed to take care of me. I know one day soon, possibly even in the morning, I would finally be inside him like I longed to be, but he knew what I wanted. What I needed. 

And for an awkward virgin, Jesus does he know how to make love to someone. 

But maybe it's just us. They say when two people are meant to be together, you just end up fitting together in the most perfect of ways. 

And in this moment, as he slides in and out ever so gently, ever so carefully, I now know Alec and I are one of those 'meant to be couples'. If this had been even 6 months ago I would have laughed and scoffed at the thought of soulmates or fate. But now I’m a believer. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. 

He’s close; I can feel the snap of his hips getting more urgent and he keeps asking me, over and over, in my ear if it feels good. I have no words for what I’m feeling so I just keep nodding with a frenzy. When his fingers graze over the head of my cock I throw my head back and his lips are on my neck and I can't keep myself from shaking as he catches my release in his hand. He smears it back down over my dick as he milks the last drop of cum from me and I collapse onto the bed, balancing myself on my elbows as he leans up, hands gripping my hips and pushes in, in, in, just deep as he can go and lets out a song that I am sure opened up the heavens and every angel is now listening. 

I feel the magic sizzle out of my skin and he whimpers as it seeps into his hands as he holds onto me. Then I feel his cock jerk inside me and he’s coming again, and I don't know if it's the magic or his rune or just us. But he falls against me and my face gets pressed into the pillows. But I don't care. It's him. 

And I’d gladly suffocate with him inside me. What a way to go. 

He finally pulls out and I hear myself whimper at the loss. He flops down onto the bed next to me, his arm thrown over his eyes. He’s panting as if he just ran a 15-mile marathon. I roll onto my side and he opens his arm so that I can slide myself against him. I rest my head against his erratic heartbeat and his fingers find my hair. 

“By the angel…” he groans. 

I smile against his skin. “How do you feel, darling?”

I feel him swallows against the top of my head. “Happy.”

“Music to my ears,” I whisper. He wraps his arm around me tighter. 

“My parents are probably flipping out because I haven't been back to the institute.” He sighs. 

“Perhaps you should grace them with your presence tonight then. So they don't worry.”

“Oh, they know where I am. And if they can't figure it out for themselves, I am sure Isabelle screamed it from the rooftops.” He huffs out a sound between a laugh and a groan. 

“And what exactly would she be shouting from said rooftop?” I run my fingertip along one of his runes and watch as his skin reacts. 

“Alec has a boyfriend!” He mimics a high pitched voice. “Infuriating.”

“She’s happy for you.”

“I know.” He kisses the top of my head. “It's just not a big deal. I’m still the same person, you know. I’m just…”

“Happy now?” I answer. 

“Yeah.” He whispers. “Very.”

“Mmm, good. Mission accomplished.” I pause and kiss his nipple. “So you’re staying?”

“Of course.” He says it so matter- of- factly as if it was the most absurd thing in the world for me to ask him. Of course, he is staying. Just like that. 

“You tired?” 

“Wanna watch a movie? I rarely get to see them. Maybe you could show me your favorite.” He cocks his head and looks down at me. When our eyes meet, he’s smiling. 

“Ever heard of Breakfast at Tiffany's?”

“Nope.”

“Well, there are no bow and quivers in it,” I warn him. 

“I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.” He brushes his lips against mine. “One problem, though. There is no TV in your bedroom. And I refuse to get out of this bed.”

“Oh, Alexander. Like that would ever be a problem for me.” I snap my fingers and a large movie screen now floats in the middle of my room in perfect view of where we are lying. 

“Cheater.” He shakes his head but looks at the screen in awe. 

“Oh stop, you love it.”

“I do.” He smirks. “I really do.”

**NOW**

It had been 2 months. Well...53 days. I had...adapted to my new world. I took up jogging to fill my time at night after work. I embraced my job, relishing in my profound knowledge of computers and software. I threw myself into technology. I rearranged my apartment; nothing extravagant like my old loft in Brooklyn; but just the right amount of jazz that every place needs. 

And I read a lot. Sometimes I caught myself looking up to the other end of the couch or to the empty spot next to me thinking I could still feel Alec there next to me. He was. I knew somewhere he was with me. 

I missed Alec. Everyday. I spent the first few sleepless nights sketching his face until most of my walls were covered with his silhouette. 

Now I just have one drawing next to my bed. 

I talk to him every day. I tell him about my day. What I learned. How many miles I ran. I tell him sometimes I miss my old life; the magic. The chaos. 

That sometimes I even miss Jace and Clary. But mostly Isabelle.

And I tell him how much I miss him.

And that I love him. 

So very very much. 

I saw the other Alec on occasion. Driving, in a coffee shop. We didn't speak. He would just give me this pained expression as I smiled at him.

He had to find his own way. Without me. He wasn't my Alec, no matter how much he looked like him. 

I wasn't his answer, and he wasn't mine. 

I woke up this morning, for the first time in a long time, feeling like maybe I could make it in this life. I will grow older and one day I would die just like normal people and have no regrets. 

I would have lived 2 lives and adored many and had one big love of my life. 

I was okay. I was okay without magic. I was okay with a mundane life. Alec had taught me about simplicity. How everyday things could be just as magical as anything I could conjure. A touch. A smile. A look.

And I had enough from him for a lifetime. 

I smile at Becky, my barista, and she hands me my normal Vanilla Latte just like she had every day for the past 46 days. I shove a few more dollars than I should in her tip jar and give her a wink and she just shakes her head at me, like she always does. It's a typical morning. 

I don't know what makes me look up with the jingle of the bell on the door goes off. But I do. 

The man who enters looks normal enough. Jeans. T-shirt. Nothing abnormal about him. 

Then it registers; and-where my old brain from the world I left and my new brain from the world I am in now-collide. 

Valentine. 

My blood runs cold. My eyes dart around to the oblivious people around me who have no idea of the destruction and evil this man represents. 

Some things are different in this world but somehow I just know a man like Valentine, no matter what universe he finds himself in, will always be the same man. 

I see the gun before he has a chance to pull it and almost on instinct I try to conjure my magic and have to remember I’m not that Magnus Bane anymore. 

This Magnus is mortal. A mundane. A software developer. 

This Magnus can't do anything to save these people. I watch as he approaches Becky and everything in my body tenses and a shot of adrenaline bursts through me and as he pulls the gun and I scream words of warning inside the coffee shop. Becky ducks as Valentine turns to me and-

**THEN**

“Can I ask you something?”

Alec’s eyes raise from his book and he uses his finger to mark his spot as he closes his book on his lap. “Hmm?”

“Does marriage still mean the same thing to you as it once did?”

His eyes widen, ever so slightly, and then he licks his chapped lips as he thinks. “Yes.” 

“Honor? Family? Tradition?” 

He nods. 

“Do you think you would still be able to have those things if you married me?”

His expression remains unchanged. His eyes burn in a hole through me as his composure stays stone like. I’m not even sure he’s breathing. 

“If you have something to ask me, you should just ask me, Magnus.”

I narrow my eyes. “Izzy told you, didn't she?”

A slow devilish smile forms on his lips. “Took you long enough to bring it up. Jeez.” He goes back to his book as if this is like me asking him what he wants to eat for dinner. 

Maddening. 

I throw my legs over the side of the couch and stalk into the kitchen. I hear his deep beautiful voice follow me as I breeze myself into the kitchen. 

“The answer is yes, by the way.”

** NOW….OR…THEN **

I can hear the music and feel the warmth before my eyes even flutter open. 

I know where I am. 

The rainbow of colors as I look up into the sky make my skin tingle with a type of magic I had not felt in such a long time. 

Or maybe it wasn't a long time. 

Maybe there was no time here. 

Wherever I really am. 

“Leave it to you to make an exit like that.”

I shake my head against fluffy green grass and smirk. “Of course, you’re here.”

“Where else would I be, old friend?” Ragnor’s voice is more beautiful than the fairy music I hear drifting through the trees. I sit up expecting to feel pain or achiness, but I don't. I feel...at peace. 

Guess all the rumors are true. 

“Is this where downworlders go when they die?” I ask, shaking the grass out of my hair. 

“There is no ‘place’ per say for downworlders.” Ragnor explains. “Just where you feel most at peace.”

I look around and realize I’m in the same field I had taken Alec to. I smile. 

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“You died a mortal.” Ragnor states. I know he meant for it to come out a question, but he already knows the answer. 

“Yes.” Is all I answer. 

“I warned you.”

“I accepted the consequences.”

“And Alec Lightwood? Did you find what you were looking for?”

I look up at my oldest friend; the sunlight hitting his face and I give him a reassuring smile. “I did.”

“Would you make a different decision if given the chance? Would you still open that portal?” Ragnor kneels down next to me. 

I look down at my clothing and realize I may have died a mortal, but in my afterlife, I am still Magnus Bane, high warlock of Brooklyn. I have my best purple and blue tunic on and my amazing shoes I got in Italy along the water in Venice. I have my rings on and my nails are painted in their normal black polish. As I look up at the bangs hanging in my face I see the pink streak I had missed oh so much. 

I was me. The old me. The me I was meant to be. 

I close my eyes and imagine Alec’s face. 

“If I knew what I know now, no.”

“And what have you learned?” Ragnor asks gently. I think about it for a moment, reliving all the moments over the past few months. The choices I made. The things I saw. The things I lost. 

“That fate is a funny thing.”

Ragnor nods. “Good boy.”

I stand, wiping my hands on pants and taking a deep breath in. I open my arms, letting the essence of the fairy world take me over. 

“I will miss you, my friend.” 

I look at Magnus and raise an eyebrow. “You can’t stay here with me?”

“I’m afraid, old friend, that you cannot stay here with me.” He snaps his fingers and as I watch as purple and pink swirls open up around me. “Keep your promise, Magnus. FIND ALEC.”

Before I can answer I am sucked through, falling, falling, enclosed in a sea of magic. I had gone through portals before. But this...wasn't a normal one. This one pulled at every cell, every atom in my body. It was like I was being picked apart and thrown back together in a new way. I could feel my skin humming. The organs in my body aching. It wasn't pain but it wasn't pleasure. 

It was almost like creation. 

Everything goes black for a few moments before my eyes are forced open and it takes me a moment to take in my surroundings. 

It's night and I’m in a familiar ally way back in Brooklyn. I can hear the voices of people I know, I can hear the screeching of demons and like a bolt of lightning reigniting my sense of direction and purpose I realize where...and when I am. 

“ALEC!” I scream. I can see the demon, it hasn't reached him yet. He’s too busy fighting off another creature to notice it preying upon him. 

I run and push every spark of magic out of my fingertips into the back of the demon. It screams in pain and as Alec turns to see what is happening it bursts into an electric thunderstorm of decay all around. When the haze of magic clears and whatever is left of the demon collapses to the ground at Alec’s feet, our eyes meet. 

“Took you long enough! Where the hell have you been?” He yells to me over the chaos. There is another creature running toward him and as I raise my hands to burst out another stream of magic and begin to run to him again, he just juts his Seraph blade out to the side and into the monster. It bursts into light and when I finally reach him, all I can do is pull him into me with such a force he loses his footing and falls into me with an adorable ‘oof.’

“Magnus, what...are you okay?” He pulls back, searching my face with those eyes. 

“I...I thought…” Now I’m the fumbling one; unable to form the right words. He touches my face with his warm hand and gives me a small smirk. 

“It's okay. I got this.” He looks around. “Come on, we need to help Clary and Jace before this gets out of hand.” He looks back at me. “You good?”

I can only nod, and he grasps his hand in mine as he pulls me up the alley toward his friends at the end of the fight. 

“Ragnor…” I whisper inside my head. 

_“Fate is a funny thing, Magnus my dear friend. Don’t you agree?”_

** LATER **

**_Alec~_ **

“Alec, you’re shaking. Relax.”

I let out an unsteady breath and raise my chin up so Jace can continue to try to tie my tie. No bow tie this time. Just a simple black tie against my dark plum shirt. Magnus picked it out. I had my doubts. But he was right. It looks good. 

I should learn to trust his instincts when it comes to fashion. He’s usually right.

“You think I wouldn't be so nervous. I mean I’ve done this before. At least the getting ready part.”

Jace lets out a small laugh as he finishes my tie. “This is nothing like last time.”

“Yeah, I guess it's not.” Jace steps back and motions toward the full-length mirror and I look at myself. Yeah, Magnus is right. And I never like to look at myself and think about myself in this way but yes, I look good. 

“You okay, buddy?” Jace’s hand comes down onto my shoulder with force but reassurance. 

“Yeah. I feel like I can't breathe. Again. But I guess that comes with the territory of Magnus.” I turn to look at my brother. My Parabatai. My best friend. “Thanks for being here.”

“Wouldn't be anywhere else.” He mirrors the same words he spoke to me on my previous wedding day. “You know this wedding doesn't just represent you and Magnus. It represents a whole new accords. A whole new world when it comes to shadowhunters and downworlders.”

I nod. “Izzy and Simon are probably next.”

“In Simon’s dreams.” Jace grunts. “But seriously. What you and Magnus have done, just by being in love and not letting anyone take that from you, have shifted the entire clave. It's a whole new start. You should be proud.” 

“I am. I’m proud of us. Of all of us.” I give him a small pat on his arm. “Think they're ready?”

“You tell me. Magnus takes forever to get ready.” Jace laughs as we walk from my room and down the hallway of the institute. I can hear the violin music before I even enter the hall. And I nearly gasp when I see all in attendance. This is nothing like the wedding I almost had a few years ago. The hall is filled to capacity with shadowhunters, mundanes, fairies, warlocks, werewolves and yes even vampires. 

Magnus and I did this. Our love did this. I watch as Jace meets Clary at the entrance, the two exchanging a kiss and I feel nothing but happiness for him now. Whatever I thought I felt...it was nothing. Nothing for what I feel for Magnus. What I have with him. 

“Alexander, my darling, you are a delight in purple.”

A smile washes over my face and I turn around to find Magnus, in all high warlock of Brooklyn style, decked out in the most extravagant of outfits. Sequence, patterns...it's just all... wow. The streak of pink that is normally in his hair is now dyed purple to match my shirt. His makeup is perfect, just like him. 

“You were right about the shirt,” I answer. I can't breathe.

“Never doubt my keen fashion sense,” He whispers leaning into me and then looking into the hall. “Quite the crowd we have gathered, no?”

“We did this,” I repeat out loud to him. 

“Mm, that we did.” He runs his manicured hands along my chest, his eyes glimmering with emotion. “Do you believe in fate, Alexander?”

“I...I never used to. I never looked beyond duty and family. But you’ve opened my eyes, Magnus. To so much. You’ve changed me. You’ve made me believe in things I never thought could exist. So fate? Destiny? How could it not be real? When I’m standing here with you right now?” I feel my voice begins to choke at the words I am saying. His eyes are getting even more glossy than before I began to talk, and I reach out and intertwine his hand in mine. “Come on. Let’s go start the rest of our lives together.”

He pulls me toward him as I begin to walk away, and I stumble into him in pure Alec Lightwood fashion. He just smiles at me and takes my face in his hands. “How did I find you?”

I brush my lips against his with such gentleness it's as if a breeze of magic is always coursing through us. 

“You found me. You always find me.”

[](http://photobucket.com/)


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